how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[avermont]

I'm sorry if I am being dense, but I'm not seeing the difference.

I have established boundaries: as in, no, you cannot move OW into apartment next door.

The cake he is eating: he got to walk out without much discussion (refused counseling); found an apartment within our TINY little town so he gets to show the GF all the lovely amenities and social contacts he has here. Don't know what else constitutes cake-eating.

How is moving forward with my own life (acting like a WAS) different than GAL?

I really would appreciate any clarification or examples you could provide.