The real question is: how to approach this month's bill-paying? it would have to be this upcoming week, and my schedule is really full. The idea was we would do joint bank stuff together so everything is on the up and up, but after last time's episode--I don't know if I should email and ask about getting together to do it. Again, if I just do it myself that is too much independence again. Catch 22, you know?
another part of the story: 15 years ago, when we bought the house with the 2 apartments, I said something brilliant like: "well, if we ever break up, we would have a place to live." He has thrown that at me like half a dozen times now. In the presence of MC, I apologized for saying such a hurtful thing, and swore I never ever thought of it again, as a possible "out" or any such thing. At first I thought he was bringing up the hurt that remark had caused him, but now I realize he is ANGRY---I said we could share the place, so why can't we? I know this isn't logical--a 15 year old remark made by a scared 30 year old doesn't apply to a sudden harsh break up later--but he really seems to think I should be able to stand by that remark.
Ok.
First. Wayward will say anything and hold on to any negative thing they can think of. They think like snakes and ladders. Only problem is that its a 100 squares and they remember only the snake squares right now. I know its hard not to feel pity for their narowmindness. But they truely believe what they are saying.
Good thing you are in reality. So you can understand these concepts to time and incontext. Next time he brings it up. look at him like he is an alien, carry on the conversation like he never said it.
Speaking of joint bank account stuff.
You have locked down your finaces. Right. All joint stuff needs to be locked down now. Deposit your pay to another account and transfer in your half to pay the bills if you have some joint agreement. Cancel any credit cards that are joint. Remove him from car insurance as well. He is a big boy. He can get all that stuff himself. Since he is starting a new life. He can start to take on some of those responsibilities.
You should see some flack here. Which is good. Flack means your not playing according to script. Anger means you made a point. You are a strong independent woman right? Well carry that out for yourself. You will be a finacially protected strong independent woman.
Don't give him the DVD. Don't give him anything but a detached loving woman.
