Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Sandycay-
Thanks for the thoughts/perspective. I do realize that I am overfocused on H. I think its my defense mechanism to try and figure out his next move before he springs another BOMB on me...but I need to just let that fear go. It'll happen or it won't and I know I'll survive whatever it is.

I am a little leery of distancing alot from H. I think if he feels alone and secluded(which often he does) that it seems to worsen his funk/depression. He didn't do well living alone(got suicidal). I'm trying to maintain a closeness of some sort(even just sex or holding hands) and walk away when things get tense or H seems touchy. Let the other junk slide off me like teflon.

Interesting note at lunch today. H started talking about his brother(who just had surgery today) and how H and he texted a bit yesterday and his brother just stopped...(this is what H does that drives me and the girls nuts!). H thought it was really rude! LOL

H also talked at lunch about being depressed as a child and never feeling anyone loved him. I validated that and said that seemed sad and must have hurt. He said it did but he's over that..(Is he really!?) and all this time he says the depression started in our marriage....Hmmmmm

Well at least he married someone who loves him and is good about saying it and showing it... see how far that'll get me.