Now as far as Wed. night I told her along the lines of - "I have been doing some thinking on what you said the other night about us being seperated and that we could do whatever we want. I have decided that I will respect my vows until this is legal and the papers are signed. I feel that you should give me that same respect. If you choose to go out and have sex and sleep around, then you can leave (or you know where the door is, can't remember how I ended it.) That's when she told me I was trying to be controlling, and I told her that this is the way I believe and these are lines that shouldn't be crossed.
That was actually very good. Just be prepared to enforce that boundary, as Gnosis pointed out.
The next time she calls you "controlling," say something like this to her:
"I'm sorry you feel that way; that's certainly not my intention. If, however, by 'controlling' you mean that I won't share my wife with another man, then I guess you may be right."
also
"I have no desire to control you. You are an adult woman, and you will make your own choices and will have to deal with your own consequences. I just felt it was fair, as your husband, to let you know what my boundaries are, so that we're clear. I won't remain in an open marriage."
