I am envious that you have a swimming pool. The kids tell me that their future step dad is going to build a swim pool and playground for them. This is all we have at my house (minus the slide)... http://www.twincitiesdailyphoto.com/2007/redneck_waterslide.jpg
In California the cost of electricity is so high that I'm probably paying $50-75 per month just for the pumps which must be run at least 4-5 hours a day.
Kind of sucks. My Electric bill in general is $350/month. Thank You Gray Davis and Enron.
After a few seconds she says she want's to talk to D18 about possibly living with her. I mentioned that D18 wants me to rent a 3 bedroom house so D14 can visit and have her own room. STBX says "Well, I'm going to ask her anyway because she wanted to live with me before but I didn't have the space in the condo".
I told D18 her mom was going to ask her if she wanted to share a house with her and D14. She immediately said "Is she crazy? I am much more comfortable living with you."
It probably is a good thing to have given D18 advance notice. That way she can respond in a prepared polite manner. Hopefully, she does not say "Dad already told me your were going to ask this".
You should not feel sorry though. She made her own situation with her daughter.
So today, like Sleeper, I'm letting myself feel the anger at what has happened to my family. I'm angry that I was weak when I was capable of being strong.
I'm angry that as I look back at my entire marriage I was married to a woman who was a kind and loving person but did not have the relationship skills to be supportive when it really mattered.
I'm angry that she chose to run from problems, thinking that she could 'shock' me into action. Or thinking that her happiness was all that mattered.
I'm angry that my children will have to live with these memories for the rest of their lives. They will have trust issues and self esteem issues.
But, I'm glad that I'm the kind of man who can help them through this so that those issues aren't as bad as they were for me as a child when I went through this same experience.
Anger diminishes with time. I went to a friends house last night, whole family and extended family was there. Seeing the love, and lack of dysfunction made me realize how much dysfunction there was in STBX's family. A large part of our issues were the result of her issues with her father and his wife and in laws.
She never felt accepted, had low self esteem, and they were of the judgemental.
So, when I was unable to be the 'balance' in her emotions no wonder she ran away.
That doesn't make it ok. It just means I understand.
