I never thought I would be here

[Gnosis]

Congratulations on the first steps 2OC. i.e. Discover your weaknesses (co-dependent) and "overcome" them.

I told her that this is the way I believe and these are lines that shouldn't be crossed.

Be prepared for her to test you on this. She will. Be sure you have defined the consequences and are 150% prepared to enforce the boundary.

Other than that, you're in good hands. PDT is more of an expert at this than I am. I respect your morals of not breaking your vows, but I do so wish you hadn't said them out loud.

Your next step I suppose is to set more "smaller" boundaries. Let her test you by breaking those and seeing that you are committed to keeping them.

A good test case is: "I will not communicate with you when you take that tone of voice with me. I feel that it is disrespectful. From now on whenever you communicate in an unattractive manner I will turn around and walk away. Behave like a mature adult or I will refuse to listen to you."

This one will be an easy one for her to test you on. And she WILL. When you walk away from the conversation/argument she will be angry. Your attitude will be "whatever". And she won't back down. She'll try this again and again. Your job is to enforce your boundaries. Each time you do, even though she won't show it, her respect for you will grow.

Keep up the great job.