Is my wife a WAW or is this a MLC? thx2brs

[are you kidding]

Remember the email from her a couple days ago, she wanted me to help with lunch money.

Using the anger not at her, just to continue not to give up and take what she's dishing out. Not a victim anymore.

Didn't talk about my sitch with sales clerk, she had to call wife to get her permission to switch phones and mlc said something which prompted her to go wow she's mean.

[are you kidding]

This is wierd, but I can feel something going on with the kids and I.

My daughter has been the nicest to me she's been in a couple of yrs.

Took son to bookstore last night bought him some books and he started reading 'em. He never read at home.

I can feel something going on with me internally too.

I am determined to keep my word, but more importantly be the better person.

nothing from her today. hope that's not why.

[Lostforwords]

Ayk

Trapt made a very good observation and one you need to keep in mind. Anger can cause us to do things with didn't intend.

The kids reaction to this isn't weird. Their family structure has been dismantled and they are reacting to it by coming home to roost. They have problem come to realize the stability that mom and you provided and now that the stability is gone are starting to realize everything they complained about wasn't really that big of a deal. Plus I am sure in their minds somewhere....they are looking at their behavior and wondering if they had some cause in the situation.

Good job on the phone switch and of course your wife is going to be angry about it....you did something she didn't think you would do.

[are you kidding]

don't care what she thinks anymore...haven't cared what she's been doing for awhile either, it's easier that way, for me.

making my own decisions for the kids and i. Only control myself. Reading the book boundaries, forget ignoring another bad email or text, she'd expect that, just need to let her know not going to respond.

[Lostforwords]

When you do stop caring about what the WAS is doing or thinking...things become much easier.

[are you kidding]

attorney called me today, she said she's pulling for me, but doesn't see much hope.

she said do not over pay anymore, just pay the agreed upon amount and do not respond to anything anymore, cut her off.

she was upset that i switched the phones and sending a letter to mlc's atty about the health insurance.

she was really upset that i checked the acct and said i probably pushed mlc even further away and the court would consider it stalking...WTF, can i catch a flipping break.

[are you kidding]

Took kids out for dinner, fortune cookie, "keep turning the page, you'll gain knowledge." Other one said, "Take the advice of others."

Something else, you were right on the path, thinking back a couple of months ago, she said she wanted to be ALONE. She had never been alone.

I'm just going to leave her alone. It was my fear, with my job, she did become pretty self-sufficient, with mowing, etc. She didn't like doing those things, but she did them.

It's amazing how quickly she turned on everyone.

I do hate the words "It's going to be alright." The heck it is.

[Lostforwords]

Ayk,

MLC taking care of things is good for her....just as it is for you to take care of yourself. Give her time to find her center...while at the same time finding yours. As people have told you, time is your friend in all of this. You get to work on yourself, enjoy time with your children, and reflect on what really matters in life.

It is easier to stand in a relationship as individual partners than lean on each other for everything.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

"It's going to be alright."

Actually, it will be, as long as you come to terms with what happens good or bad in your life...

Or you get to be bitter about the bad stuff...and let me tell you how attractive THAT is. Chicks dig it, and guys love it, I could spend all night gazing into the eyes of a spiteful women over dinner. ; )

[are you kidding]

no bitterness jack, just don't like the term, all right.

by the way, i think you and i are a lot a like.

when all this started i said to myself, even if she fools around, she had sex before she met me.

the only, the only thing i don't like about any of this is the fact she filed.

that's the one thing i'm having the most difficulty with, everything else i could've dealt with and i have no choice to deal with this now, too.

and not bitter over it, just very, very dissappointed that she rang that bell.

and i can't get mad at her, i know it's not her but the mlc. when i get angry i use it to be constructive.