Well, I put the boundaries in place Wed. night. Told her where I stood if she chose to sleep around. I also told her that I am honoring my vows until the papers are signed. . . . I have taken my wedding ring off as my way of detaching myself from her.
This seems contradictory to me. YOU may feel like you're taking your wedding ring off as a way of "detaching yourself from her," but she will see it as totally in conflict with one of your stated "boundaries" above -- that you are honoring your vows until the papers are signed.
A couple of other thoughts:
1. Can you be more specific about specifically what you said when you "put the boundaries in place Wednesday night; told her where I stood if she chose to sleep around"? Not trying to nitpick you, but it sounds like setting (and enforcing) boundaries has been a real problem for you in the past, and I want to make sure you're doing it correctly.
2. Her accusing you of being "controlling" = TOTAL FOGGED-OUT WAYWARD "SCRIPT". Here, let me translate: "You're trying to control me from having my affair, unencumbered."
