I am trying. Practicing breathing as if in labor. I do not know what to think. OW had told me she thought he had had other A, but I thought it was sheer spite. Now I do not know what to think.
And I cannot ask him: he either will give me a lame excuse or get mad or ... I do not know!!!
Where is that off switch?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
OK I know that this is far fetched but it happened to me... is it possible that she is somehow trying to upset what is looking very much like him prefering to be with you than with her?????
One day h was sick and didn't go to work. She however worked at another site and didn't know about this. By the middle of the night his pager went off and I checked it. It was a message from her, all love and giggles thanking him for such a wild time and describing how she enjoyed him doing this and that to her. SHe new I checked his messages on the pager and was really trying to work on my side since she wasn't getting much luck on his. Only problem is that wsa her timing, he had been in bed with fever.. not out having a wild time with her!!!! I know that she did many more things like that for a while but I was already forewarned. Other times she tried to mess up with him calling him up complaining that I had been harrassing her on the phone when I had done no such thing. Again poor timing got her caught when she called complaining I had just called her home when me and hubby were out watching a soccer game!
BY the way also got a slipped not on his jacket once. "thank you so much for the flowers. They are beautiful" H's cousin had been with him all week working and said he had not send her or anyone else any flowers.
OK, so maybe something like that is happening. Or not, but in both cases the best to do right now is absolutely nothing.
JUst get that paper bag out again!!!! Really twin now is the time to start counting backwards... I'd suggest starting at 1.000....
Thinking of you Big , big hug nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
To add insult to injury, I just spent an hour on the phone with my parents, who are dead set against my H. So much that I have not dared tell them that we are together again and I have stopped the D proceedings. I am a mental mess, right now.
I just want to hide under the pillow and come out in 2030.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
That might be a good idea... any chance of taking a small nap ? It used to work with me.
No, really , I understand what you're going through right now, but remember sometimes the most incredible things do have an explanation. And maybe there is no need to tell your parents about you being together again yet. Just let things go slowly.
Big hug nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
I could not sleep to save my life right now. We are supposed to get in the spa and have dinner in the pool (left over from yesterday lunch).
One positive anyway: H heard me talking to my parents. He asked who it was, so when I hung up I sat with him and told him I had made a huge mistake telling my parents about us getting a D and such. He answered:"Don't blame yourself. It was my fault" Blew it a little later by trying to pass his own R with his family as an example, and me disagreeing (I accepted there had to be a middle ground somewhere).
I also discovered a mark on page 14 of my copy of 'After the Affair': he is reading it after all (had not mentioned the book at all in a month).
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I just had to pop in and ask...are you Canadian AND Porteguese??? I had a student who gave me that word (saudades?) when I was covering "linguistic relativity" and how some cultures have words for emotions that we do not and vice versa!
She described it as a feeling of total loss, more than "missing", a more intense endearment for things we truly love.
