I am trying. Practicing breathing as if in labor. I do not know what to think. OW had told me she thought he had had other A, but I thought it was sheer spite. Now I do not know what to think.

And I cannot ask him: he either will give me a lame excuse or get mad or ... I do not know!!!

Where is that off switch?

"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"