Did last weekend with the girl at the bar have anything to do with the change in softening your stance on your M?
No KerryK. I will probably never see that lady again. I am not pursuing her. I think last night just really started making me realize that maybe this really is over and maybe no point in delaying the inevitable.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I see my priest tonight. I see my C Tuesday. My BIL is coming in tomorrow which I know he will be against me considering this. But he also has said he doesn't know how he would be able to handle what I am going through also.
I will give it the next few days of really weighing the pros and cons and discussing it. It is not a decision I want to make at all. It was hard really considering it last night and this morning. But I really think unless some kind of miracle occurs that I am done living in limbo land like this.
I will think it over more.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
If I come to this decision, I will have to think about how I tell my kids I can no longer do this. I will need the C's help with that one.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
If you decide to do it, I'd give her the option of signing the waiver of service. I think it's the civil thing to do. And the best way to deal with anger is kindness.
Thanks everyone. I will take everything into consideration while I think this through for the next few days.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Kevin, I know many things have been said in your sitch (all 164 pages and counting), some pretty hard knocks, which are sometimes justified.
Some would call it obstinacy, some would find it admirable, but call it what you may, you have always tried to maintain your stance that saving the M was the best, perhaps the only option.
I can only feel for you to be at this stage now. You must be drained to be posting like this at all. I'm sorry things are what they are now. If you do decide to go ahead and file, it's not a failure or a weakness. As others have said, it's about accepting your limits, and we're all only too human. Just thought I would say that.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Once you've decided what to do, let it lie for a few days, and see if you are at peace with the decision before you take any action. You are not working to a deadline.
My dad and sister in law are both in full support of whatever decision I make at this point. Neither are for D, but both can understand this situation since there doesn't appear to be any ending in site with W and other guys.
I will think it through the next couple of days, talk to my priest and C. Then I will make a decision and then sit on that decision for a couple of days.
Thanks for the advice all.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
