OOps posted too early again. H ended up balling his eyes out saying he had done irreparable damage to his children and me. I didnt know what to say.
I would say something like "I agree; this has been incredibly difficult on all of us."
Do you sense that he is genuinely REMORSEFUL -- for YOU and for YOUR FAMILY, or do you sense that he is just sorry that this is now so hard on HIM?
There are stages of remorse, and I do think your husband is in one of the early stages, but there are several stages.
They'll go from "I'm sorry I got caught," to "I'm sorry for ME that I've messed myself up so much," to "I'm sorry for YOU that I hurt you (but I still don't see anything wrong with what I did)," to finally a more self-aware "I'm sorry for what I did because IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, on so many levels. For me, for the pain I caused my wife, for the breaking of my vows, etc."
