Can I save my marriage?

[RedHeadWife]

Britt, I second what PDT is saying to you.

I would suggest you go back & really re-read this entire thread & all the awesome advice you have been receiving. You are being led through this nightmare by these people, but you are not choosing to take their hands & follow them.

I truly wish I had all of these people back when I was in my sitch.

I HAVE to say this to you: DO NOT end up like me -- still in my M, but now a lot resentful that I did not stand up more to my H while he was insisting on D'ing me. If I could go back & go through my sitch again, I would handle it a whole lot differently and it would look a lot like what YOU need to be doing right now.

Learn to love yourself again just for you. Learn that you will be ok if you end up by yourself. Don't worry about whether you will ever meet someone who wants you w/ 2 kids now before that even happens (I can remember thinking the same thing).

Stand up for yourself and, in the long run, you are going to be in a better place than you were before your H even dropped the bomb on you. Back before he dropped the bomb, you were completely entangled and dependent on your H and YOUR ENTIRE BEING was being a mom & a wife. THAT'S NOT ALL YOU HAVE TO BE.

Remember who you were before you got married. Would that girl have put up w/ this sh*t? Or would she have stood up for herself and did what she needed to do to make her own sitch what it needed to be w/ or w/o her H.

My H & I actually got into a pretty big argument last night. Doesn't happen very often. It ended up getting pretty deep & he FINALLY after 3 yrs admitted to me that he was resenting me and why prior to his first A.

I actually told him last night that I wish I had stood up to him more during our sitch. I looked him straight in the eye and told him that the girl he married wouldn't have put up w/ the sh*t he put me through. But I did take it, rolled over and allowed him to pull all the shots and, to this day, I STILL don't know who I am. I didn't take the time during the D sitch to figure that out again.

Right now, you are in an awesome position to figure out who you are and who you want to be -- JUST YOU. Then whether H comes back or not, you are comfortable w/ you and happy w/ you no matter what happens.