Longtime coming...

[Awoken]

I'm getting great advice here, but I'm having a hard time focusing on it. I don't think I did very good last night.

I usually come straight home from work on thursdays, so last night I stayed out afterwords; went to the book stores looking for another copy of "rational recovery", and other books.
W calls and then texts me "where r u?", and I decided to wait a few minutes before I respond. She starts calling again and again, so I quickly answer and tell her "sorry, I was busy, what's up?".

She tells me that D17 is again locked in her room, and has been screaming and crying on the phone with her boyfriend trying to prevent him from breaking up with her for the past couple of hours. I tell her that I'll come straight home in case it continues to escalate. This is not at all like D17, and it's very scary for both of us.

W calls back in just a few minutes and tells me that "you've got to get here soon and get her off the phone. You've got to explain to her that when a relationship is broken, you can't fix it!". I don't quite know what to say, but I don't want to tell my daughter that and I don't think it's the right thing to FORCE her off the phone yet. I'm not even at the house yet. Our conversation quickly descends into exactly the unpleasant kind of conversation I've been trying to avoid as part of DB, one were I calmly listen to her, and then try to explain what I think are rational options and it pisses her off. She ends the conversation abruptly (what I should have done). I wish I hadn't been drawn into it, but I'm worried about D17.

By the time I got home (20 minutes later), W is outside D17's door, listening to her side of the phone conversation. She has calmed down a lot. She is still pleading and pleading with the boy. She sounds almost like a LBS. We listen together, as D17 winds up her conversation. I'm glad to hear that she has been seeing a counselor daily at her school. She tells BF that she thinks their relationship is just like her parents and she doesn't want either to end in disaster. (D17 eavesdropped a few days after bomb and knows way more that she should).

I thought our co parenting was still going to be sound, but now I'm gonna have to figure out some boundaries for that too? I'm only three weeks into this.

Later that night, after everything calmed down. W just comes into masterbedroom and asks for my cigarettes. I don't smoke. I bought one pack day after bomb, smoked only a few. I was mr. nice guy, and said "you can just have the pack". it just didn't feel right...

I've gotta set some boundaries right?