Hope is the thing with feathers....

[Bridgestone]

Hi kat
thanks for reading along & stopping by with your thoughts.

I hear what you are saying about giving it time and growing my confidence.

I've been working on the confidence rebuild for quite a while now.. that is what allowed me to leave and then to put boundaries into place after I did.

I think what I need is a different kind of confidence that comes by interacting with people in some level of relationship.. without the expectation of it going to COMMITMENT.

I'm reading "rebuilding: when your relationship ends" by Fischer & Alberti

One of the concepts in the book is about having growing relationships.. interactions with different people who are there in your life to teach you things like "trust", "fun", "communication" etc.

I need to learn new ways to interact in a R, that are healhty, productive, safe, intimate ... this book advocates using little relationships to practice those skills so when the right person comes along at the right time when I have the right skills... it will be a good thing.

I'm just worried about having the 'sense' to not be practicing those skills with another abusive (possibly in a covert way-not as in your face as my StBX) person because it feels comfortable.

i hope I have learned enough to recognize it for what it is & to honor my gut instinct & set my boundaries appropriately.. without going too far the other way & keeping everyone at bay & arm's length because of fear.

Thanks for giving me the chance to clarify my thoughts outloud.

Peace
Bridge