Can you help us understand why YOU feel sorry for a man that walked out on you and your two young children and blames you for every problem HE has?
We all have choices and options in life and rarely are they as black and white as a WAS paints them out to be.
You clearly have issues you need to work on, he clearly has issues he needs to work on and then (and then only) can the two of you even begin to see if you can work on your marriage issues.
Your H walked away and when he did he made the CHOICE to do so. You are offering him far too much leeway. He opted not to fully participate in the marriage so he no longer has the privilege of calling you to vent his problems, decide when he is lonely or bored enough to have "family time" nor should you be reminding him about what he has to do (see nephew for his b-day). He wanted to be single so let him be single.
You can work on your own issues and that may (or may not) change the dynamic between you and your H but you alone can't "fix" your H.
You are still looking for clues. Who cares why he cleaned the garage? The *only* thing it means is that you now have a clean garage and the appropriate response would be "thank you". Nothing more, nothing less.
The banquet fiasco happened almost a week ago and you are still rehashing it with him. Do you feel that is a way to move forward for you?
If you step back and look at things in an objective fashion perhaps you will realize that your H violated your privacy (in other words, has no respect for you) by reading your e-mail. It doesn't matter if you forgot to log out. What right did he have to read YOUR e-mail? NONE! Yet somehow you are taking the blame for his actions that were nothing short of a total violation of your privacy.
You were NOT put on this Earth to be a wife and mom. You were put on this Earth to be Brit. Being a wife and mom are beautiful parts of life but you will eventually learn they are not the *only* parts of life.
There is not a reason in the world your H needs to be calling you 3 times a night. There is not a reason in the world you should be accepting three calls in a night.
His venting phone call should have gone like this: H, sounds like you had a hard day with lots to process, I can relate. I really need to run and take care of the kids now, take care!
He has it both ways because you allow him to have it both ways. And only you can change that. Once YOU set boundaries and stick to them he will quickly realize his options are (A) dissolve your marriage or (B) work on the marriage. The whole point of handling a WAS this way is to ensure either way YOU will be okay. And you will NOT be okay if you continue to allow your WAS to call all the shots and blame you for everything.
