Again, (and I'm working on "this is all my fault!!" I resisted it. For the first many years, neither of us cared.
After many years, I knew (though we never really talked about it) that he would love to marry me--cause he wanted that reassurance of my love and commitment.
Until about 4 years ago, I was definately hesitant and unsure and afraid to commit. (issues I am working on with counselor). Then I began to shift and did want to think/talk about marriage. But our level of communication on these deep, intimate topics was so low, I never had the courage to bring it up.
The essence of the failure of the R is: my inability to CLEARLY demo love/commit; LSD my part; his willingnes NOT to confront and ask for what he wanted; low communication on intimacy issues though we had a full, busy, active, happy life together.
I do have to say that even if we had married, I am betting that my LSD would have given him the excuse for the A, anyhow. All I would have is the additional complications of a legal divorce. I think.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
