Slept with XH, help!!

[Augtan]

I am getting really discourage and am ready to give up. I keep finding out more and more of the lies he told and all he has done before we were even seperated. I know it shouldn't matter, I know I need to put the past behind me, etc. But, I am sure many of you when you learn about something awful you get a sick feeling and such. That is how I feel right now. I have not gone looking for this, snooping or anything of the sort, it was e-mailed to me! I keep trying to tell myself none of it matters, that I cannot change it and I know he was and is not himself while and when he is doing this stuff. But, honestly, we are D and I don't think there is anything, no amount of DBing that will bring him back to me. That doesn't mean I will stop doing most of the principles of DBing for me, and to make me a better person over-all. I just really don't think there is anyway I could or would trust him again enough to get back together. I will always love the person he was, but I can't see myself being in love with him again to the point where I would have complete trust in him again. And, I don't want to live my life that way. His lies are too huge and too deep, I know most of the MLCer's are, but it would take pages and pages to list what this man has done and lied about to sooo many people.

I am in a bad place today! It hurts so much to be betrayed so deep, and it never seems to end, just when I think I have made it over a hump, something else happens...Thanks for the support everyone, I am not giving up on DBing for me, just as a reason to get back XH!! Does that make sense??

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