Don't stop the C but go in there with your own list of things you want to discuss as well. Don't just let your H control the sessions; you have needs/ wants too.
You have to do what feels right to you. You can take all the advice you are given and then sift through it and see which its you think work for you.
One question I have though. Don't you think OW's H has a right to know what's going on? I was the last one to know out of the four adults involved and I couldn't believe someone hadn't told me sooner. It was my knowing that managed to break the whole thing apart. Don't beleive what your H may tell you about OW's M - OW probably doesn't tell your H the truth about her M.
I think that at times the actions you may take in order to try and save your M may 'rock the boat' and make your H cross, ( like possibly contacting OW's H). You can't base your actions continually on what your H thinks and behave in a way so as not to antagonise him. At the same time though, keeping things generally on good terms with him can only help.
From your recent posts it sounds to me like your H is battling between what he 'wants' to do, (OW), and what he thinks he should do/ what an honourable man would do.
If it were me, I would just try to make it so that he can see that staying with you would not just be a chore and something he would do to remain honourable, but in fact something that he wants to do. That will take a while as he is in the throws of his 'love endorphins' making him see OW through rose tinted glasses and the newness of the R is exciting etc. However, things like him coming over and watching the film with you and showing you emotion are good.....as long as he is being genuine and not just looking for the sympathy.
Be true to yourself and keep your dignity. Be someone you admire. Your H sounds as though he is all over the place at the moment emotionally, so be strong.
You actually sound pretty together which is great. One of the biggest turning points is when you realise you don't actually 'need' your S, and that life will continue, and that you could be happy without them. You may prefer to have them with you and sharing you life as your S, but you will be ok without them. from that comes the strength to continue and they often sense that change and gradually come back.
I liken it I suppose to the confident kid at school. You know the one I mean, the one that just didn't seem to need anyone else: they were the one that others were attracted too. It was the needy ones, who lacked in self confidence, who were the ones who were shunned and lonely, and however much they tried to 'fit in' they just weren't attactive - one could sense their desperation.
Don't let him sense/smell the fear but still let him know you are there for him and you love him. I know it is a very fine line to tread.
(((((((HUGS))))))))
You are doing better than you think.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
