For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[Gardener]

Courts,

Not that long ago, I was offered a full time job that was good money. A job that would have pretty much allowed me to take care of myself and DD. I was so extremely torn...I wanted the independence that job would have given me. BUT...my heart shattered into a million pieces when I thought about taking DD to a sitter for 40+ hours a week. I know that tons of kids go to sitters/daycares and they are amazing, smart, happy, well adjusted kids that are very close and connected to their parents, it's just so hard. I feel like she's only go to be little for such a short time and it goes so fast. I'm doing my best to provide a stable and secure schedule/environment for her - even though her dad has walked out. I felt like having him gone, then taking her to a sitter full time was just too much. Although, I do realize I might just be postponing the inevitable - but I'll keep her with me for as long as I absolutely can.

I admire you for taking the right, though temporarily tough stand!

Anyway, H told me that if I need money all I have to do is ask. Okay, yeah, good to know. But, still annoying because I shouldn't have to "ask." Know what I mean? I feel like his teenage daughter - "Dad can I have money for gas?" "Dad I would love a new pair of jeans, can I have some money?" Ugh! Having to ask for money is just stupid.

Don't ask. Inform him how much is needed and by when. Say it's all for D's needs. I don't remember far back into your sitch, but have you spoken to an attorney to get this slug to pay up?

1)Point blank - Who is OW?.
2. I thought about emailing her and even copying him and just asking why she is talking to my husband, telling her what it is doing to my family. Asking her where her self respect, morals and values are and that sort of thing.

1)Why? He'll lie. You'll get no satisfaction. He'll probably get the satisfaction out of really getting your goat.
2)She'll lie and ignore you. And they may both wind up having a laugh at your expense. Now if you could find out f she's married and expose it to her H, that would work in your favor.

Call the attorney you just mentioned, get the sep going and get money from him.

What else can I do? Give him an ultimatum that he has to start counseling or it's over?

Why not give him the boundary that I hear so many men do on this forum? "I will not share my husband with another man. Drop her with transparency and proof or I will file."

The Holidays will suck. How much they suck will depend on your actions and attitude.

My $.02, fwiw.