Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Thanks, Bluestar! I don't really know how to not let my H take him to OW without it pressuring or pressing the D issue. You know? I told him I wasn't ready and needed more time when he brought it to my attention a couple of weeks ago. When I said that, the next day he came over and said that he brought the parenting plan paperwork with him and said we needed to start documenting stuff. ??? I reminded him that he gets to see our son whenever he wants to and all I was saying is that I wanted more time before he took him.

On the positive, our baby is with me 98% time so I seriously doubt him bonding with OW with one Saturday visit of 2.5 hours (it will take WH 45 minutes to get there and 45 minutes to come back.)

So I don't mean tosound defensive, but what choice do I have unless I invite the D you know? If it happens, then my baby gets to see OW as often as WH gets to see him. The law does not prevent WH from taking our baby to see her.

In fact, I would have enforced the visitation long ago if I could bear the thought of OW seeing and playing with and holding our baby. BUt I couldn't so I encouraged WH to come over here and see his son as much as he wanted (plus I wanted him to bond with our baby and I wanted our baby to bond with him. I never got to know my bio dad)

So, since I am still wanting my marriage, I am not clear on the right steps to take you know? If I react, he will push the D but if I chill out, he will get tired of her and remember why he married me, RIGHT??? Or not?? This is sooooo hard.