Cross-posted with you. Don't know what it means that he came over in tears. Could be so many things. Could be that in light of his father's death he better understands the importance of his family. Could mean that he had a fight with OW and is feeling alone. Could mean that he has decided to go for a divorce and feels guilty and wants you to say it is alright.
What I said above is still true. Stick to what is important to you. Earn your own self-respect. Don't do things because you think they might change him. There are no magic words, no tried and true answer to change another person's heart.
