Sorry I am so late in responding, but it is Bowling night tonight. Thank you for your candor, and understand this is a needed conversation for me, I am not discussing this to get my rocks off or bust your balls. You know me better than that.
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To suggest that I deserved that comment, you simply have no idea of what my marriage was like, what I went through or she went through.
Regardless of what your ex-wife did or didn't do and what happened, you had an affair Jack. You had an affair while you were married and nothing justifies that. Divorce is far to simple for there to ever be justification for that action.
It does not mean that it is something held against you, it simply means you screwed up. Blaming her for your actions, well that just won't fly with me because it is simply the kind of answer I would get from my ex-wife and unacceptable. Your marriage sucked, you wanted out, you did it the wrong way....enough said.
I do not hold judgment over folks that commit adultery, only those who do not acknowledge that it was wrong, regardless of what a dick or bitch they were married to.One of my good friends on this board had an affair on her husband, we discussed it at length and what I heard from her is remorse, acknowledgment that her path took her somewhere she should have never gone, she regretted that choice. Not leaving her husband, that choice.
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I felt that it might somehow make her feel better knowing that my life sucked. I still am sorry for the pain I caused, but I do not regret my decision, and that was made clear.
I cannot remember, was she aware of the affair?
Again, you are one of the good guys on this board Jack.You inspire people and you lead, whether you want to be that guy or not. However you have a lot to offer in the sense that you have played both sides of the game. I get that it sucks to talk about this on here, because of the sentiment towards the unfaithful spouses, but it is a reality and IMO and huge benefit to those who have been through this.
One last thing and then I am out for the night, and don't get pissy with me about it.. I know y'all don't get a lot of sun, but this whole defensive Jack is just not very Pirate like to me. Ok, here goes:
Is the reason you work/worked so hard to make your current marriage work because of the statistical data and your own need to justify the fact that you ended up with the OW? Or is it More because of how your first marriage ended up and feeling like you have learned how to succeed?
