BY the way... I really hope it can be done with C too. Will not be able to get Rui to go there again, and knowing him it wouldn't work even if he went!!!
I find things have a way of going forward... stop- maybe to rest a bit:) - forward... stop....
After my bout of "blueness" last week, it seems that he finally picked up a bit ont he fact that I was down and really give it a good try. We had quite some good time for the whole week. Until today,but that's a minor and fixable setback LOL ANyways, it's good to know that some people are making it withou the help of C, and I'm hoping we can be part of that number. Hugs again nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
As to the "C or not to C" issue...IMHO BAD counselling is worse than nothing at all!!!
It CAN be done without C...although our few sessions with the GOOD MC really did allow issues and feelings to come forth (largely on my part) that I'd been holding in for fear of scaring CJ away.
We've only seen the MC once since last spring and seem to be doing fine!
Then on the other hand you have Tal's Wolfie who is making tremendous strides with the help of C....insights and changes he might NEVER have made on his own.
Each sitch and each person is different. How's that for no help at all!!!
I do not have a C option: we have been to three and my H even liked one of them and wanted to stay with her on his own. He quit 2 sessions later. You can bring the horse to the water...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
((( Hi Opt))). Well brace yourself. If my sitch last week with sick kids is any indication, you will also get sick. I'll cross my fingers that you don't but...
Regarding C - I went to one 3 times after H left. Third visit was only 5 weeks after he moved out and she was all over me to take D ed classes, to start own bank accounts, etc, etc. I told her that I had just read DB and was going to read DR and that I was going to give the sitch the time it needed and give my H the space he needed to think.
My H has refused to go all along so even if he went he probably wouldn't tell me. But at this point, I think the DB and this BB has helped me incredibly and my H too - even if he isn't aware of it. I doubt we will ever go to C and I think that he is thisclose to moving home.
Well, I hope you get through the caretaking without needing any yourself. Take care.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Well, it seems that I got lucky. My D has had a bit of fever and diarrhea but clearly her genetic makeup is much better that her Daddy's because she is in top shape: skated three hours this morning, came shopping for furniture with me and went paddling in Daddy's kayak (they were a sight).
So far the weekend has been going well. H went to work early, while we were ice skating, but he called at noon to have lunch together. Then he went back to work and came home at 4:30 to go paddling. Which we did until it got too dark.
He had mentioned he'd had to swing by the office and I told him: 'bring some clothes and we can go directly'. He went 'where do I change?''In the marina' He said nothing but a bit later, while I was assembling all the stuff I noticed he quietly put a change of clothes in the car
When we came back one of the lines seemed a bit loose, so H said we'd better go home first (to go to his office we'd had to take the highway). We did and the lines did loosen up: I spent the last half of the trip holding the kayak through the sunroof.
Anyway, we went home and I decided to stay and get dinner ready (aren't you proud of me?). H took my car (which OW know well) without any prompting. And he just called to let me know he was coming back (and we have caller ID...)
And tomorrow we are going out on the lake again
Lots of positives, don't you think?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Hi Opt. Glad to hear that you haven't gotten the bug.
Wow your DD must be quite the skater - three hours? My D8 is picking up an extra hour of hockey every Sat-Sun for now so she can learn the basics and catch up with her teammates. Now I just have to get back on my skates - after 17 years!
You sound like you had a great day with lots of positives. I did too - check out my update. And thanks for visiting me over in Newcomers.
Kayaking sounds like fun. I have done a lot of canoeing but have never been in a kayak - how much of a difference is there?
Well, keep up the positives. Sounds like you are doing great acting "as if".
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
She loves skating. She has been doing it since she was 2 and can spend hours on the ice. She is now preparing for the regionals. She is not competing seriously: she is too little. But she likes the idea of going out on the ice in front of an audience.
As to kayaking, I have never canoed so I cannot compare. But it is lots of fun, and you can tailor it to your interests and your level of skill. Not everybody is interested in going down class 5 rivers... or skilled enough to do it
We actually paddle in a lake 5 minutes away from our home. It is lots of fun. Today H had to help rescue a jet skier whose intake tubes got choked with algae. He tried to clean them with the paddle, and when he could not he helped the boaters get a line through to the skier (they were not very skilled at actually throwing it ).
And did I mention that you lose quite a few inches in the waist by paddling? Arms and shoulders are important, but HIPS RULE...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
:)