Trying LRT - Please Help!

[motherof3]

Thanks GB.

I'm trying hard. It has been a blessing to find this website and read everyone's posts. Without it I probably would be on the phone with H right now and slipping even closer to the point of no return. So here is a big thank you to everyone. Thanks for keeping me sane and on the DB path.

[Lll54]

I just read your thread MO3 and looks like you are doing very well. We have very similar situations where my H left because " he wasn't happy". Whatever that means. Anyways, just wanted to drop in and say good luck. I know how sometimes the emotions get the best of you. Its noon here and I pretty much just woke up, trying to waste another day away. I'm a stay at home mom, no job, and my H has the kids this week. I will continue to read your thread as it seems to uplift me knowing we are in such similar situations.

[motherof3]

Ah. The power of numbers. Sometimes it helps just to know that you are not alone.

Britt - Just posted on your thread. I will log back on tonight.

[motherof3]

H called the house and when I didn't answer he tried my cell. I still didn't answer. Yea me!

[Lll54]

So now how do you get out of that? I had that same scenario yesterday. But I felt bad not calling back. Obviously I'm going to see he called and he always calls back when he misses my calls. So what are you going to do now?

[motherof3]

For rignt now, I am going to try really hard to do nothing. If he wanted me to call him back, he should have left a message. And the next time I do speak with him I can say something to the effect of, 'I saw that you called a couple of times the other day. Sorry I didn't get back to you, I've be kind of busy.'

[Gardener]

mo3,

Ah. The power of numbers. Sometimes it helps just to know that you are not alone.

Also keep in mind what I told another poster tonight. Next to our threads, you will see two columns of numbers: the number of people who have viewed your thread and the number of people who have replied. More often than not the ratio is about 10:1. I often take solace in the fact that there are so many who are just following along and commiserating but for whatever reason, not chiming in.

There's a lot us of here!
You're doing great.

Keep going

[motherof3]

Next to our threads, you will see two columns of numbers: the number of people who have viewed your thread and the number of people who have replied. More often than not the ratio is about 10:1. I often take solace in the fact that there are so many who are just following along and commiserating but for whatever reason, not chiming in.

G,
Good point. I have never even considered those who are just viewing the posts.

BTW - I have been following your thread. I haven't posted anything as I don't really have much insight or advice for your sitch. But what I do know is that you are truly an inspiration. It almost brought me to tears seeing all of the support and (((hugs))) you have received recently. Just know that it is very obvious to me that you have touched many lives here.

[motherof3]

I am so PO'd right now and in need of some advice.

Earlier today, my H and I were emailing back and forth regarding the daycare options for S6 during the school's winter break. I also mentioned that I wanted to firm up the arrangements for the kids for the Christmas holiday. To which he responded, "Regarding Christmas, I am open to what works for you. Right now, it looks like I would have them Christmas Eve and then I can bring them over on Christmas morning for you as soon as they get up. Let me know if that is what you want or we can change it up."

Somethings that you should know first are that H and I have what is sometimes called the 2/2/5 setup with the kids. I get them every Mon. and Tues., he gets them every Wed. and Thurs. and Fri.-Sun we alternate. I get them one Fri.-Sun. and he gets them the next. So at any given point in time there is a period where I won't see the kids for 5 days. In addition we agreed to alternate holidays with H getting Thanksgiving Day while I get the kids on Christmas Day.

So what's my beef you ask? Because Thanksgiving Day falls on Thursday he will get the kids on that Wednesday and Thurday and return them to me on Friday afternoon as it is my weekend with them. As Christmas also falls on a Thursday he technically gets the kids on that Wednesday and as he said will drop them off on Christmas morning. It just seems so unfair as I won't even see them on Turkey Day, but he is planning on them waking up at his house on Christmas morning. Ideally I would like the kids to spend Christmas Eve with their dad and come over to my house right be for bedtime. That way they can spend time with H and still be at my place on Christmas Day.

I have yet to respond to H's email. How do I tell him what I want in a DBing sort of way? Am I overreacting? At one point I was even considering inviting him over Christmas morning so he could see the kids. No way now. That just seems to be too much cake eating.

Please give me some advice on how I should approach this.

[Lll54]

Just my opinion. But isn't it a little early to be discussing Xmas? Its over 7 weeks away! I think you need to discuss these things as they come. Who knows what will happen in the next 7 weeks?!! I've seen a few people discussing Xmas already and I just don't get it. In a way it seems like an "off-topic" "r" talk. If that makes sense at all. Like I said who is to say what could happen by then...take it day by day. Just my opinion but I would wait to see how the arrangement goes for Thanksgiving before you make full plans ahead. Just me.