wow mama, you have a lot on your plate. First thing I see is that I wouldn't let my child spend one second with him outside my house without me. The last thing you want is your infant son bonding with OW. She does not sound like the kind of person that you want your baby around and your H probably does not have the willpower to stay away from her even if he is with his son. I am all for father's rights but they have to make responsible choices. Right now, your H is not.
While DBing does include fulfilling his needs, don't take responsibility for his part. As women, we tend to immediately turn it around to blame ourselves. Be careful not to take on too much. I didn't really start to get my H attention until I was willing to work on me.
There are lots of people here with great advice. Keep posting. We're all here for you.
