Well, made it through the function with little to no fanfare..
STBXW was 15 minutes late, and d8 missed the story part of the festivities, and we couldn't find her classmates. I noticed d8 was anxious during this, so I tried to calm her down, and slow things down for her to just enjoy the moment.
We all had popcorn and cider after with her classmates, and the teachers put a do not run order in place.
My d8 seemed to be taking this really hard, and was starting to cry and complain about not having any fun. After talking about it with her, it really was she was upset that she missed the opening story. Her telling me these things is really important in my eyes, she has always held this type of thing in, and I am glad she is expressing how she really feels!
I felt bad for her, but I didn't lay blame anywhere, just validated that her feeling sad was ok, and that sometimes these things just happen. You can accept that it was sad that you missed it, but then try and look around and forward to the fun things to do!
She did come back around, and had a good time before going home.
My interaction with STBXW was extremely minimal, and that's fine with me.
I still see a demeanor change in my STBXW. I just don't know what it is, and probably shouldn't even bother to speculate. She seems almost scared, or fearful when I am near her, and she makes sure to walk away at all times if I am nearby.
Not anything I can do, nor figure out, it's just a difference, as she was clearly apathetic when I was at home, and almost defiant in interactions with me, and those are clearly gone..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I'm glad you and your daughter had a good time last night. And you're right, don't even begin to try to speculate what's going in your wife's head. It'll only drive you nuts, and you don't need that. When she's ready to let you know what she's thinking, she'll tell you. (Or maybe her attorney will... but you got that covered with your own, right?)
Well, tomorrow is first day in court with my STBXW.
Acknowledging that this certainly will not be fun, and I am not looking forward to this. Looking at my STBXW on the other side of a courtroom as a defendant to me, is going to be bizarre..
Well, it is what it is, and that's where I am currently in my life.
I hope that tomorrow goes quickly as it can, and there's no bombs in wait for me or her, then get back to working on me and focus on d8..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
You will do fine tomorrow in court. Just try to remember that this is business, keep your mind uncluttered of the emotional stuff and stay focused on your objectives. This is about your future and D8's future. Go in there dressed sharp, cool and collected, know what your responses are going to be and how you are going to deliver them.
Good luck and stay strong.
M: 41 W: 39 S: 11 S: 10 D: 4 1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09 EA began: 2/14/09 EA discovered: 3/1/09 I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself _______________________________
Guys, I need help and support. I just got kicked between the legs to the tune of 700+ a week I get to hand to my STBXW for the benefit of being married to her.
That's just the temporary order, she is asking for 1100+ a week in child and spousal support so for the temporary order I am getting off light!!!!
I don't know how to cope with this.. How do I look at this women who is going to ba taking so much from me without getting bitter..
There is no chance for reconciliation, for sure. 700 a week that I am going to be handing her is more than twice the gross pay she has ever made in her life!!!
I am so distraught right now I don't know what to do!!!!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
$1,100 a week??? Holy Crap. I would expect to pay that per month, but a week??? Wow. I'm sorry man. Some benefit.
Quote:
I don't know how to cope with this.. How do I look at this women who is going to ba taking so much from me without getting bitter..
Go work out at a gym tonight. Wear yourself out. Go out with some buddies and blow some steam off.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I am so distraught right now I don't know what to do!!!!
Pray - for guidance, strength and wisdom, for your friends and family, give thanks for what you are grateful for
Exercise - walk, jog, lift, bike, swim
Connect - talk to your support network, get some "good gas"
Manage your energy- diet, sleep, limit alcohol
Stay busy - action helps solve problems
Know that you can handle it.
Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Praying that I will have the strength to be a better man, for my d8's sake.
Praying that somehow I can get through this mess and be a better, whole person in the end that someone wants to be with.
Watching my STBXW talking and laughing with her L after the proceedings was the toughest thing to take. I had to move out of her sight so I didn't have to watch that..
I will be paying for my sins in this relationship in spades...
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
