Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Okay so I finally bought Divorce Remedy and just read the section on infidelity so far. She says to keep up the cheerful act and wait as long as you can because most affairs end. I know this and I am confident that theirs will, even if it is after I run out of patience.

Something I need to work on is remembering the little details about what he likes. He is very particular and I have come 90% close many times in pleasing him(i.e. got the shirt he likes but it has 2 buttons instead of 3. Got the watch he likes but the one he has had for 5 years is still working great so he tells me to give it to my dad. Got the style of bread he likes but it wasn't the right brand. You get the picture right?) On the other hand he is such a good listener and has sucha good memory that I say something once and he gets it/does it for me.

Folks, the balance was off...I was starting to take him for granted and by the time I noticed, it was too late...he had become attached to her. DR says to figure out what needs the OP may be fulfilling. Well, I think although I am always nice to him (seriously) and praise him, she was REALLY doing it in a flirtatious way, too. She is a real siren type. She probably did all kinds of crazy sex acts, although I wasn't exactly boring in bed (don't want to be crude here). She liked some of the things he did that I didn't (haunted houses, some video games, some rock music).

Okay so tonight he's coming over and I leave to go play Bunco with my friends but we have time for dinner first. So I am making one of his favorites-- french bread pizza. Lately I have been cooking all kinds of recipes that are new though (Thai peanut curry chicken,stuffed hamburgers, asian flank steak and noodles to name a few) and he has loved it (for awhile there, we were eating the same meals and he cooked 75% time while I prepped. He was also a better cook than me because he is so detail oriented!).

I also picked up some reese's peanut butter cups- DARK, and one "big cup" b /c he loves the extra filling. I found some wine on sale that he said he liked, too. Now I will just put the candy in the pantry b/c he will find it when digging around for dessert, and I'll put the wine in the fridge for another night. If he notices it, great, but I don't want to completely overdo it, right? That might come across as needy and chasing?

The other thing I really need to work on is cleaning. I'mnot a slob but I let the mail pile up on the counter or go too long between dusting and I am a messy cook. I'll clean the dishes but then there will be crumbs/sauce on the stove and the floor.


I have gained weight from pregnancy but am losing it, exercising, and have been styling my hair and wearing make up every time he sees me.


So in summary, need to notice the small things he likes and get them for him (already started and he noticed--said you don't like these..you got these just for me?), need to be cleaner (working on it), need to continue cooking the different dishes (he has noticed that and loves it!)I also need to continue complimenting him on things he does (admiration is big for him) and touch him again.

We used to hug goodbye but it just started to feel wrong to me. One of his needs is affection and I had to get rid of it because, well, he is f-ing another woman you know??? I was moving away from him when his body got too close (instinctual) so lately I am relaxing and letting his body brush against mine if it happens. I touch his arm when talking or joking around, etc. BUt it would be weird to start hugging him again, right? I haven't done it in 3 months.