CL...tolerance is transformed by forgiveness, and I've discovered a couple things that are key for me to remember regarding that process:
1-I *choose* to forgive and hand the weight of my disappointment/disapproval over to divinity. It's a relief to be free of the crushing presence.
2-That choice is a continual process. Resentment creeps in from time to time, and I am faced with the choice again each time. I remind myself I have chosen to let it go and trust that as long as I'm working on maintaining my boundaries, the rest is someone else's responsibility to work out.
This doesn't have to take a long time. It takes awhile to get used to, and it gets easier. But you don't have to walk around with a wall of resentment indefinitely.
If you want to connect with her, you can do that...opening a hole in the fortress of disapproval standing between you and her is up to you. At any rate, she needs to know that you recognize/acknowledge her efforts to get closer to you, rejection is a tough pill to swallow, and likely feeds her anxiety and flightiness.
