Quick Fix Magic Bullet for MLC

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Ian and Twink.

I have been pondering the question about remorse as a WAH, what I said and what I did.

I used to use caveats all the time when I posted y opinion and advice. I shall do that now.

And this is a serious post, I am not trying to be funny or hurtful.

The caveats:

I am not your husband or wife. I did not have a Life Crisis, Mid or otherwise. I do not know if your spouse did have a mid-life crisis, but I can sum up that I believe a MLC is defined by confusion.

More importantly, neither of you was my first wife.

Both of those facts are important.

You both have worked on yourself. You both have improved yourself, you both listened and worked on issues. She didn’t.

When a spouse actually tells you about a problem, isn’t it usually in the best interest of the marriage to come to some sort of resolution? Give. Take. Compromise.

Did you guys do that? Did you listen?
She didn’t.

To suggest that I deserved that comment, you simply have no idea of what my marriage was like, what I went through or she went through.

The details are important, but unimportant here, for the choice. When I left, after marriage counseling after months of trying to make it work, to get her to realize how serious I was, I gave her no hope. I did not try to contact her, I left everything behind, and I told her it was over.

Was I perfect? No far from it, but I worked on trying to meet her halfway.

I had a lot more written of that background but I removed it. It was un-needed, it sounded like a rant, and I could still read the anger there at her and at myself.

We failed, she failed me and I failed her. No matter how much I believe I tried I failed her, effort was lacking on both sides.

That is my side of the story, and she has hers…somewhere close by or far away is the truth. 3 sides to every story.
The remorse?

That came at my lowest with my MLC wife. I sent her an email. Simply apologizing for the pain I caused her, but I thought she would like to know how bad everything for me had gotten.

I felt that it might somehow make her feel better knowing that my life sucked. I still am sorry for the pain I caused, but I do not regret my decision, and that was made clear.