Changing Man

[Kettricken]

I call total BS on this after-the-fact characterization of "sexual abuse". Yeah, you were probably pushing the envelope a bit there, *in 20/20 hindsight*. But guess what? she has a tongue, she could have told you in no uncertain terms to knock it off (the awake part, anyhow). As for the asleep part, how ignorant do you have to be to NOT know that erections are a common, nay, expected outcome of spooning like that? Is she *eleven years old*??? I think not.

If an adult woman has an ongoing problem with something that's happening in her bed, she has not just the ability but responsibility to leave that bed.

If there is sexual abuse in her past, that is tragic and deserving of compassion, but it is *NOT* your responsibility to fix. It is hers.

I imagine hearing your actions characterized as "sexual abuse" felt like a kick in the gut. ((((Gardener)))).

I wouldn't make any sudden moves either, but I would weigh *carefully* whether I would even wish to reconcile with a person who seemed inclined to offload her own issues onto my shoulders so cavalierly and damagingly, unless her attitude changes. Not to mention her insertion of herself into your son's marriage....

Under the circs, I think it's wise to carefully consider not being alone with her. You just don't know.

I think I would try to stay out of the whole issue with your son's marriage (as far as it concerns her involvement). That really is his sandbox, sadly.

And yes. I have to believe your stepkids will be back (if they're even gone).