Can I save my marriage?

[Kettricken]

Britt, I would strongly advise you to listen up to what Coach and Puppy are telling you here.

I don't care what you did. As long as it wasn't infidelity, planning to gut his bank accounts, kidnap his kids, or have him whacked, he had less than no business in your email. Beyond that, it doesn't MATTER what you said in those emails. Maybe you didn't behave up to your own standards, but that is between you and you, and you and your girlfriends, NOT you and him.

LET HIM BE MAD. You didn't set out to anger him, and all this is a direct consequence of his own choices.

Has it ever occured to you that trying to take responsiblity for and manage someone else's emotions like that is a form of trying to control them? Even though it doesn't seem like it on the surface, it IS disrespectful, when you think about it.

Also, totally agree with Coach. Your h. has you so figured out, he knows exactly which buttons to push. "Well, I was thinking we might make it, but now you've killed that possibility." Do you know how many times I've read that on here? You can't let yourself be yanked around by every shift in his wind direction like this. Two people acting from raw emotion and being all reactive to each other is so much messier than one. You CAN control your half.