Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Another thing...only 3 people support me letting him see his son all the time. We work out a monthly schedule. I am gone a lot of the time whenhe is here, but then I also have gone with him and our baby on outings to show what life will be like if we stay together.

He helps take care of chores, brings me things he knows I like,
is a really good dad and is so crazy about our son.He was the one crying when discussing the parenting plan/ divorce a couple of weeks ago. I stayed calm and dry eyed. He said he couldn't imagine only seeing him 3-4 days each week.

I am prepared to enforce a traditional visitation schedule according to our parenting plan if he files OR when I file in January.

I should file by then if he isn't back, right? He moved out 3/31.

Also, back in July he admitted he loved me so much and always will. He admitted his relationship with her had its problems, but all do. (to which I asked "then why did you leave me?" no reply)

He cries whenever the D talk comes up which has only been brought up 3 times since March and never by me.

He hinted that she was not supportive of the amount of time he sees his son/ is over here.

Now I do feel confused about letting him take our son on Saturdays 7-11 when we aren't divorced...but I still want him to experience a glimpse of the future if he doesn't wake the f up!!!

The fantasy in me thinks maybe he wants her to meet him before he breaks it off with her( he has never taken our baby anywhere without me--his choice---and says he wants to stay away from work right now b/c of the swine flu outbreaks.)

I also envision Thanksgiving taking a toll when he celebrates without us. His family 100% disapproves of what he's doing and his brother in law left his sister and their kids for another woman, only to discover after 9 months that she wasn't who he imagined and he has been trying to get back with my SIL ever since! (been amost 3 years now)

I am rambling....I just am trying so hard to be patient and not be a bitch to him.