Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

I agree, but I think last night was detrimental and my marriage may be over.

I need so much help right now on what to do I can't even explain it.

Last night I came home after a night out. My H brought the boys over and put them to bed and then was staying there till I got home. When I got home he was in a rage. After the episode sat. night, me crying and stuff I wrote the 3 girls that were consoling me a quick email just apologizing for starting drama. I was quite embarrassed. They all simply wrote back, no problem..that's what friends are for. Well H went into my email and read these things and is now furious with me. He said that he thought I had changed and that things were looking good for us. But after this email he sees that I have not changed a bit and he can't believe he fell for it. He said that I wrote that email to start more drama and when one of the woman replied not to worry about it cause I wasn't an idiot that night, HE was, he got upset that I didn't defend him. I explained I didn't reply because I didn't want anymore drama. I simply just wanted to apologize for my behavior and that was it. One of the woman also wrote that he lost some respect from his co-workers that night and I think that upset him as well. So now I don't know what to do. He is soooo mad at me. And pretty much told me it wasn't over he was having good thoughts and now its over.

I am a mess. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

Another thing is I mentioned to his sister yesterday who is practically one of my best friends that he "popped" in yesterday again and I don't like it. Which I also voiced to him so it was nothing new. But she went and told him what I said, cause he also said last night. "And don't worry I'll be sure to give you 5 hours notice before I come over" Which obviously came right from her mouth.

What do I do? I have changed! I feel like a better person, but I'm scared to death that I have lost my husband now once and for all.

I also did a bad thing last night, after he left I called him and apologized for any hurt he was feeling, he thanked me for calling and apologizing and said he'd text in a few days to see the boys...that was it.