Changing Man

[Deep]

I don't really post in your thread Gardener, but am doing so to add some words of encouragement.

Painful though it may be, in some ways, her behaviour can be seen as a (horrible) variant of the WAS theme.

"I've never loved you"
"I tolerated being with you all this time" (either for the kids or whatever)
"You've never appreciated me or treated me with respect"
"You never considered my feelings"
"You never listened to me"
"You kept buying Coke instead of Pepsi. You know I hate Coke".

That last one would be just about as "abusive" as spooning. Thing is, when we're the weak LBS we all were, and even when we think we're stronger, it's all too easy to actually consider the merits of WAS's point and "look at our own contribution to the breakdown of the M".

I'm not saying there is always no truth in what WASs say. Valid or invalid, it is immaterial in that the WAS has long decided to use that as a weapon. She/he is not interested in the truth or resolution of said faults. The fog is their life and they're not going to let you cut the thread upon which their world is hanging.