Coping with Bi-Polar WAW

[CountingCrows]

I tried to use the "Is there anything you'd like to tell me?" approach the night before she left. I had found out about her "secret phone" and the fact that she had many daily texts to OM going back to the time when I originally found out she had cheated with him. I had asked W and OM both to cut off all contact and just let W and I work on damage control of R. She obviously didn't respect me enough to severe this relationship. The night before she left, we had spent several hours having a very deep heart-to-heart where she had confessed that she didn't see any other way to regain her self-confidence and/or independance without separating. She admitted that she had seen OM at his work on several occasions. I asked her "Are there any other skeletons that we need to pull out of this closet and discuss?" near the end of our conversation (knowing she had still left out at least one more important detail), and she lied "No". I really just wanted one more night sleeping with her so I let it drop for the night. She went to sleep and I couldn't, which was when I woke her up at 4am to find out what was really going on and that I knew about the phone and the fact that she had been in constant contact with for months. That's when she packed her stuff up and left.

I know that with no way to financially support herself, she is going to be backed against the wall when I approach her. She will come back at me like a rabid possum in a corner. It will likely lead to a fast track to a divorce filing, because she will want to get 1/2 of everything as quickly as possible, since she has no means to survive on her own. It's going to be BAD.

Even if she agrees to stop contacting OM (like she did before), I will have no way to prove one way or the other if she's telling the truth. She could use a friend's phone, go see him in person, etc. At this point my trust in her word is 0, and I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her completely.

At this point, I'm trying to adjust my focus on me and my s7. Her deceit and disrespect of our M has hurt us both badly. It's time for me to start respecting myself and stop letting her cake-eat and take advantage of me.

Making preparations to keep her from taking further advantage. Closing/Reopening a new checking account (she has debit card / checks on my account), go out and buy new locks for the house so she doesn't ransack it while I'm at work, check into terminating her main cell phone, etc.