I can't add much that has not already been said, but I think it's time you focus on you as much as possible. You can't change what she is doing, and is saying, but you don't have to accept it either. That's going to be tough.
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Interestingly, the one time I brought up a non-mediating, personal issue she cut me off as it being irrelevant. Wife, she lets prattle on and cry. Next time that happens I will challenge it.
Do so. If you don't like the way mediation is going, then get up and WALK OUT. I'll say this to after starting down the mediation road myself, especially with someone in the state your STBXW is, that you need to be aware that mediation may not work at all, and then be ready from your side to take charge and lead from a position of strength for what YOU want as this continues forward, to protect yourself and your kids.
Good luck, I have heard most of what your hearing now, as I have SS as well, and how they 'agreed' with there mom about what a SOB I was. Just as in your case, of course they agreed, she is there mother!
I'll never bad mouth my STBXW to them, or my daughter, and suggest you do the same and take the high road as others have suggested.
Gardner needs to find himself and some peace through this process, now, what can you do to work on that?
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
