No one said piecing was gonna be easy...

[optimist]

You have to go see that movie. It is so powerful, It is about second chances and happy endings at high cost in terms of effort.

As to my sitch's progress... I do not know, Pam. I am having a major anxiety attack right now. Do not read further if you are feeling down, please

H jumped out of bed at 6:15 am, brushed his teeth and combed his hair and hurried out, without even taking a shower or having breakfast, in the same clothes he had last night. He told me he has a lot of things to do and that he'll be very late today. He even hurried an ILY and a quick peck as he left.

And I panicked. I am having flashbacks of all this years when he would leave early 'to work' just to go for breakfast and a shower to OW's house 'because we were separated and he lived alone' I toyed with the idea of telling him in a nice, non threatening way, but I did not because I thought that if he is really late and in a hurry having a panicked, clingy W delay him is not going to bring him closer to my goals. So I shut up, and came to the BB instead.

We had a nice evening last night. We met at ice skating and he went to finish some stuff while our D and I stayed for a small presentation. Then we went to dinner to a very nice restaurant we used to go when we first moved here. Of course, that is when he first had his A with this W, and I just did not know it

The curious thing is that as I drove back home I was kind of unsatisfied. H did not talk much (he never does) and our dinner conversation was mostly 'do not do this' and 'leave that alone' directed to our little girl. On my way home I kept thinking about that and how I enjoy table conversations about each others day and plans and ideas and politics. I kept wondering if it was worth all this effort to end up wolfing our dinner down in 1 h with no conversation worth its name...

Let's look at the positives, though:

1. He told me he is going in his Houston bussiness day trip A WHOLE WEEK IN ADVANCE (he used to tell me he was going to be out of town for a weekend the morning he was actually leaving. That is a huge improvement from the man who told his mother we were leaving his home state for Texas literally 2 days before our plane left!).

2. He said ILY, even if it was over his shoulder as he hurried out of our bedroom.

3. I managed to shup up.

Rather flimsy, I know, but they are all I can come up with...

And yes, all my anxiety has the same old cause: I do not trust him and I feel constantly threatened by OW being there. And I have no way to confirm what he tells me because I have no clue of what is going on in his bussiness and whether he has so much work as he says. He sure does not bring any money home! And I am not particularly materialistic, but to have a H say he is working all day but not have him bring a single check... is a bit much.