I am so glad that we are friends and I know I can call you just to touch base and get your thoughts. Thanks for the chat! I am thinking of S16's birthday with you and hope that you have an awesome day with him tomorrow.
Let your L know about you not getting to see him today.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Do they standardly write in divorce agreements stuff about birthdays like that? He is clearly such an A about everything like that, that if it's not, I won't get to see the kids on their birthday like today or like on my birthday this year. And I don't see him improving at all after the D, if anything getting worse, since he won't have an upcoming hearing to rein in his crazy....
We are supposed to get them on our birthdays(which I would do anyway) then on their birthdays we are supposed to rotate but honestly I think he would try to share the day with me if possible. I am doing that with him on D10's this Sunday. We split the weekend for D9. The boys didn't want to go with him and they had to work everything around S17's work schedule.
I hate all this splitting them up the most.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
D9 loves her Terrific Tuesday program and I don't think it's good for her to be away from me so much after 10 years of me being the primary caretaker. And normally she would be sitting in X's apt. Tues. watching tv or playing ds instead of playing with friends and being with her mom, and X at work.
He is not going to allow me to take the kids to Tues. activities...
That is not his sole decision to make! These should be joint decisions.
The problem with extra-curricular activities for the children is that they often have schedules that will take place on either parent's custody time -- and thus, one has to plan and schedule those things as a concerted effort. And when one of the parents is a boorish n'er-do-well, like your H, those kind of communications can become as delicate as strategic arms limitation discussions. I've been going through the same insanities with my xW over activities for my S's, especially cub scouts.
Your H sounds, again, to be just like my ex, trying to one-up the other parent and to demonstrate their own arrogance as "the better parent." It's such a joke. And yes, it is infuriating to have to endure.
But stand your ground, Karen, and continue to insist and expect that your childish H return back to the line of scrimmage (so to speak.)
My kids do whatever extra-curricular activities they want, regardless of who's "day" it is (although x made D10 feel guilty about missing a Fri, so she decided not to go). He cries poverty when they show an interest - I told him I'll take on tutoring if I have to, to let them participate. Not their fault that he changed the family finances so drastically. (They do know that I can't spend as freely as we used to; we talk about making sound decisions. Education and activities are important).
Hopefully after the D, X will be more likely to make decisions based on what's good for the kids, as some of the financial motivation that I think is influencing his decisions, should be gone. Realistically, I think he'll always be tough to deal with though.
I picked up the kids yesterday at noon. It was about 65 and D9 was dressed in shorts, and said her dad told her to put them on right before they left. She said her legs were really cold.
She told me after her soccer game Sat. that she took a 3 hour nap at her dad's! and afterwards X showed her a picture he had taken of her sleeping (I'm sure he wants to use for court that I'm an unfit mother).
I did celebrate S16's birthday yesterday. Made the requested chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for him. D9 and I did his chores, and spoiled him all day. Good to have them back!!!
