Question

[awest1217]

S can be mischevious, but he really is a great kid! I told him when he was newborn he wasn't allowed to have "terrible twos" or rough teenage years because he was colicy and cried pretty much non stop for 6 weeks so he used his "bad" times when he was firstborn and is not allowed anymore. Lol

More on S that just breaks my heart. First thing he said when he woke up this morning is "daddy come to your house". I asked what he meant and he said it again. I clarified by saying you want daddy to come here, and he said yes. I told him he would have to talk to daddy about it. Then on the way to daycare, I told him we have church tonight, and he said "daddy go to church?". Once again I said you will have to ask daddy. He may not remember after school, but it kills me when S just wants his daddy. I know it is good that we are seeming to be doing better (no promises until he is home and OW is out of the picture. They could still be plotting against me for all I know so once again being cautiously optomistic), but on S it is hard because he just wants his daddy home and doesn't understand why daddy isn't there to pick him up when he wants or talk to him when he wants. It is worse now than before because when H first left 7 months ago, S didn't talk too much. S did some two word sentences, but was not able to communicate what he wanted well yet. Now he can and I can see the hurt he has.

Plus now I am waking up almost every morning at 4 am and not sleeping much after (not good because then I am down to about 5 hours of sleep) because S wakes up about 4 to get a drink and then cuddles into me. I don't mind, but in my big queen bed, I have about 2 feet of room because he sleeps so close and keeps rolling more and more in to me. I know it is just because he is insecure about everything, but man is it taking a toll.

If H calls today, and asks how S is, I am struggling with telling him the truth or not. H always said I used S to guilt him, and I don't want to do that, but at the same time he needs to know how this is effecting S because when he sees him for 2 hours at a time, it is not a good depiction of how S really feels. I am a little torn, but I think I am going to go with telling H the truth, if he asks.