Man, I'm sorry. BTW...I don't believe a word of it (what she's saying, that is). Sometimes we don't know why they do what they do, and as hard as it is (and believe me I know how hard it is)...sometimes we're better off just accepting it for what it is. Maybe she doesn't even know what or why. The point is it's beyond our control. We can't waste time or energy on things that are beyond our control. The best thing that I can tell you right now is something that CIPA wrote to me recently...
"Antlers,
I know this may be hard to stomach, but a Divorce is about destruction. It's sad to fathom, but it's about the destruction of everything you and your WAW has created.
It's hard to imagine, but my cousin told me that I need to treat her as the enemy. This is the war where there are no winners. What we need to focus on now is how to minimize the fall out on the innocent (the children).
So what I'm focusing on is how to make sure the boys and I are as whole as possible after the destruction of what was built up over the past decade. We can't save it all, but we can make sure the future for us and our boys will be the best.
We owe this for ourselves as well as our boys. Get a good lawyer that can help keep your emotions in check and treat this as a business negotiations.
Things are screwed up because of the choices the WAW had made. Whatever role we had played, we have tried to atone for our mistakes. In the end, nothing we say or do now will hurt more than when our children cast their own judgement on what really caused the divorce.
Stay strong and protect yourself and your children.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
