Ah I bet you are a great person and after one goes through this kind of stuff one becomes that much better of a person, but sometimes I don’t think some people ever really learn. My Xs never seem to be able to apologize or realize they may have contributed to issues. To have a person feel as though they could do things better and to be able to work through your problems takes great character and maturity IMHO.
Things really have improved significantly from prior days. X is so much nicer and is not trying to instigate an argument every time now in our discussions. She said H Bday and we all got together on Halloween. She allowed me to even come around her friend. I really am trying to figure it all out. I just am scared to think that by me holding back she might misinterpret how much I do care about her.
I will attempt to go back to LRT. X is not very good about initiating communication at all. Because she is not so much working with me to see my D during the week. I am thinking we may have to go back to mediation to resolve. There was so much I gave up just in hopes that this situation would improve anyway.
Relationships are hard and so many people out there are selfish. As you put up boundaries, people will write you off before they will make amends or apologize or do the right things in life. Starting to think the common denominator is me in some of these situations, but I really think there are lots of people who need help.
I have asked the X to forgive me many times, even via email. So it was just good to finally know that I needed to quit saying it again and again. She has never to date been able to say she forgives me. When we first split, X told me she would never forgive me. I guess so many emotions involved. I try and try and she would just argue with me and beat me down. I think she feels like I did not care about her so she would just beat me down in return.
It is hard not being able to fix things right now or even to know if they will ever be fixed. I find it difficult putting my life on hold in hopes that she will come around. Wish I had more examples of the DB working to give me more encouragement and energy to proceed.
Called to check on D today. X gave phone to D to talk. D is 2 yrs old and she is not talking so much… so I am just sitting there with the phone and hearing some background noise. X finally after a few minutes comes back on the phone and I ask her some questions about what is going on with D. X is short, one word answers. I ask her about trying to have a night with D during the week also. X flat out say no. I ask why and she says bc she will be starting school soon. I ask when, like in a couple of years. X says like next year.
I did ask if she was mad at something, bc of her responses. She said I was talking to her like she did not know anything. Wow. I told her again, I am sorry. Not my intent as I try to be nice to her. I tell her we are talking in circles bc I am trying to be nice and she says I am mean. How do we stop the cycle? She says it is me.
This stuff is so agonizing. Please help me understand….!!!! Thought we were doing good and if I ask for anything she is one angry, evil, bitter, jilted, & scorned lady.
