You "need" the woman who is having -- AT BEST -- an inappropriate relationship with your husband, and you think "it would be good" for your kids to spend more time with the woman who is likely contributing to the breakup of your family?????
I'm speechless.
NO. I need the support, I understand what you are saying. I am fine with dropping her. I NEVER said my kids needed to be around HER. They ADORE their cousins. They have lost their father and may lose their dog. Now I am taking their cousins away too. It is harsh.
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
Show him that you are fearless. You've been folding after every thing that he's done to you. I think that would be a good time for you to take a stand.
Keep it strictly for the kids and family. You are there to see them. Not him. Hang out with his relatives but most importantly, do not talk about the R to them. Just try and have as good a time as you possibly can.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
It will kill my kids to be away from their cousins. I am so sad about that.
You'll be sadder when your sister kicks it up a few notches and they have to visit Daddy at their cousins house.
Stay away, for your own good.
I will, I am going to follow you all to the letter! I may have mad that mistake early on here, but I will not do it again.
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
Show him that you are fearless. You've been folding after every thing that he's done to you. I think that would be a good time for you to take a stand.
Keep it strictly for the kids and family. You are there to see them. Not him. Hang out with his relatives but most importantly, do not talk about the R to them. Just try and have as good a time as you possibly can.
So, go and allow the kids to have a good time but avoid him as much as I can.
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
Well that's what I would do. To hell with what he thinks or wants. The last thing you need to do now is shrink away out of sight. You've done nothing wrong but fight for your M.
You should be proud of that. Damn proud. It's easier to run away from something than to stand and fight for it. You've chosen the harder path but you will be the better person in the end for it.
Whether you go or not, just make a decision and be firm about it.
If you choose to stay away, you make sure you make it the best damn Thanksgiving for your kids and yourself.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
That is my main concern. The kids have so much going on in their lives right now, I hate to shake it up any more. They are amazing kids and I don't want to see them unhappy.
Any opinion on the dog? We love her, she is a little over 1 year old. The kids like her some days and avoid her others. She eats as much as a horse and because she has to be crated when I am away I can't be gone too long. Plus, when he does get his own place, he won't be staying at the house when I work. She cannot be trusted out of her crate for that long with no supervision.
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
Hey, Sandi...if you are out there...I am sorry for being so pig-headed. Sometimes I just need a harsh dose of reality. I would appreciate any words you could offer right now.
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
Any opinion on the dog? We love her, she is a little over 1 year old. The kids like her some days and avoid her others. She eats as much as a horse and because she has to be crated when I am away I can't be gone too long. Plus, when he does get his own place, he won't be staying at the house when I work. She cannot be trusted out of her crate for that long with no supervision.
Hi PIGA
My W and I have two dogs that are like family so I know how hard it must be trying to figure out what to do with the dog on top of everything else you are dealing with right now. Why do you say that she can't be trusted outside of the crate? Does she chew things up or is she just not housebroken? Ours made the transition from being crated while we are away to having the full run of the house by going through a period where they stayed in the kitchen with a kiddie gate keeping them from getting out into the rest of the house. Messes were easy to clean up and they eventually learn to control themselves
BTW, please take PDTs advice and take a break from this site at least for a couple of days. It is a great place to come for advice and support but if you spend too much time here, you don't give your mind a chance to slow down and think about how to apply the advice you are getting, GAL, 180s, etc. Believe me, I know, I am fighting the same battle with myself
I am so sad about that. 
