Needing Direction

[awest1217]

Thank you for the compliment! I really am not all that. I have done a lot of things wrong as well (mostly due to my bad childhood), but still that is no excuse and I have learned from my mistakes. I know you have to so you need to forgive yourself and move on. Stop beating yourself up because that won't help anyone.

I understand the whole feeling like you are setting yourself up for a heartache. Even though things seem to be going well with me and H right now and finally moving in a positive direction, OW is still in the picture and I just know I am going to be set up for a heart ache, but one thing I read in many of the books about marriage lately is that you can't have a good relationship without being vulnerable so sometimes you have to be vulnerable and possibly get hurt to maybe get a chance at happiness.

Stick to detaching and work more on LRT. Talk to X just about daughter and that is it. Don't ask about her or anything else until she initiates. If she gets mad or starts to complain, validate her feelings and stop taking responsibility for anything else. If you haven't yet (although I am sure you have) make sure you have said I am sorry. It may seem stupid, but writing a letter and telling X specifically everything you are sorry for can go a long way, plus once you write it, you have done your part and you can let it go. It is up to her to forgive, but you have asked so you can set yourself free. Don't ask for her to come back or anything like that. Just say what you are sorry for and leave it. She will probably respond negatively at first, but in time it could help, but ultimately it will help you.

Finally don't feel bad about being a good dad. There will be someone out there who will treasure how much you love your daughters and love you for it.