Forget about the $31k..It sucks, but as Jack mentioned on my thread the other day...There is nothing to be gained there.
The phone thing......break it down to the basics. If you use it...it is yours....you should pay the bill and have the bill in your name. Remember that at the moment...there isn't a "we" any more. In my situation, our car became HER car. That is fine, but if things went much farther I would have to insist that she took complete responsibility for it. Same with your phone. The medical insurance....stay the course on that one. Until you are divorced then you stay on the policy. She paid for it before and is obligated to continue that payment until the court decides otherwise.
About going back on your financial word....You are hurting and did what was an honorable thing. The problem is you are not playing with an honorable person (at the moment). You wouldn't play cards with a bunch of guys that cheat and lose money every night? This is the same thing. As you said...she doesn't have the patience for the financial consequences. So it would be a huge 180 for you to let her feel the consequences of her decision. Make sense?
