I started a converstion asking if she had thought about counselling and what not.
We had a decent enough conversation about it for a few minutes then she started to get mad and say the usual bs like I am not attracted to you, how can I live with someone I don't like.
We both retreated to our corners.
Okay and here is another thing.
She really likes it when I am smilling an nice to her. The problem I have with it is that reminds me of the good times and makes me feel like there is some hope to reconcilliation and it makes me want to ask if she has changed her mind.
Last night I just bolted out of the house and went for a drive. Of course when I come back it's "where were you"?
I went out blah blah blah,
During that drive I got a bit bitter and resentful.
When I came back I was distant and not talkative. It threw her and she didn't like it.
I seemed to gain the upper hand emotionally.
Today while I was packing in the garage she came in and was talking. I gave my usual distant answer. She said what happened to the smiles? I replyed well my family and marriage is disentgrating I'm so happy. She didn't like that.
I guess my question is which one should I be:
Distant or Happy?
She wants happy but I seem to loose some emotional power.
Distant she doesn't like but I feel like she may decide she won't want to be with that distant person.
Today I am not very full of hope that this will work out. I guess for now I need to shelve that hope and take it down and look at it later.
