Veered from what? Sort of begs the question, doesn't it?
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walking the right path
Something of an absolutist statement -- "right" defined by whom?
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Is it your place to rescue her from her feelings? Nope. Is it your place to have some compassion and not judge despite the judgement given?
Not really talking about rescuing her from her feelings -- talking about whether or not I should intervene when she betrays these feelings in front of the children, who are too young to know how to cope with them, but for whom (as @Coach points out above) the word "ruined" is somewhat problematic. She can have all the feelings she wants -- but is it appropriate to share every feeling one has with small children?
That's the topic du jour.
First off the veered topic....simple, you started your own walk-away path.
Secondly, your kids are the same ages as my two were when we were going through our ordeal....You are mistaken if you don't think they are capable of understanding and interpreting what has taken place. I beg the question as to what outlet DO they have for THEIR feelings? You may think you are protecting and sheltering, but do not kid yourself if you think they are immune to their surroundings. I was in the same shoes as yours as being the primary responsible party when the fit hit the shan.....so I do have some perspective on this.
All feelings being shown them (or not shown for protection) are real whether desired or not.
In my humble opinion, I do not believe a statement of "I ruined your lives" by herself is going to be permenantly etched in themselves minds forever.
Perhaps ask your son how he felt about that statement instead of protecting him from it....
