This is a classic chicken-and-the-egg about infidelity, Future. It's basically "I can't give up OM because I don't have feelings for you, my husband", and the reason she can't get those feelings back with you, her husband, is because she hasn't given up OM! Any good MC worth their salt will try to get a wayward spouse to end all contact with OM/OW, as the thing to do FOR THEMSELVES, while they try to decide about their marriage. Because so long as their brain is chemically affected by their contacts with the OM/OW, they cannot possibly make good, dispassionate decisions for themselves.
That exact thing has occurred to me as well. However, she's been telling me her feelings for me are mostly gone for a several years now, long before her A started with OM.
Did she ever express those grave concerns to you at the time? Or did this little gem only come out recently, after she started her affair?
