Is your therapist familiar with Einstein and his definition of insanity.....keep doing what you are doing expecting different results...lol. Seriously Ayk, you keep trying and she keeps rebutting your efforts.
She also keeps mentioning your cell and insurance. Have you made steps to get those paid or in your own name? If I was her, I would be thinking "The usually Ayk crud....trying to make me happy and fix my problems while ignoring his". By the way...I did the same thing at first until I had a very heated and belittling conversation with my wife about doing stuff for her and not getting my own crap taken care of. So there in the heat of battle she is telling you something that is bothering her, but you haven't taken care of it.
I am really wondering about your therapist. For two reasons; 1)The suggested breach confidentiality (FYI-Therapy is much better if you realize your problems yourself...not by being told what your problems are) 2) suggesting that you continue on your current path of trying to protect her while she plainly tells you not too.
The path is there Ayk...you just need to open your eyes and see it.
he's trying to help me too. we're focusing on me. i'd be going back on my word on the financial bit. she just doesn't have any patience to understand the consequences, financially anyway. today is a holiday, i called the bank to cancel the overdraft protection, i'll do that tomorrow.
i really don't want her to go after spousal support. the c/s is high enough. phone bill if it doesn't cost anything, sure i'll switch it. my attitude if it costs money i'm not doing it. i am flat flipping broke, she left me $35 and i've slept everywhere but in jail, i don't have my clothes and i keep figuring something out.
i'm about ready to go off like a rocket on the abuse from her to her, but instead i'm venting here and turning the other cheek to her.
Forget about the $31k..It sucks, but as Jack mentioned on my thread the other day...There is nothing to be gained there.
The phone thing......break it down to the basics. If you use it...it is yours....you should pay the bill and have the bill in your name. Remember that at the moment...there isn't a "we" any more. In my situation, our car became HER car. That is fine, but if things went much farther I would have to insist that she took complete responsibility for it. Same with your phone. The medical insurance....stay the course on that one. Until you are divorced then you stay on the policy. She paid for it before and is obligated to continue that payment until the court decides otherwise.
About going back on your financial word....You are hurting and did what was an honorable thing. The problem is you are not playing with an honorable person (at the moment). You wouldn't play cards with a bunch of guys that cheat and lose money every night? This is the same thing. As you said...she doesn't have the patience for the financial consequences. So it would be a huge 180 for you to let her feel the consequences of her decision. Make sense?
I've always provided the money...More and more i'm forgiving myself and going man the more things change the more they stay the same with her.
oh about the kids, i don't ask them stuff, they tell me, you kidding i don't want to know what the heck she's doing, she's already thrown me for enough of a loop.
i wonder if they remember all the crap they put they're spouse threw later on.
i know i wouldn't be liking myself if i was this mean to somebody and man you punch a bully in the nose they get the point and move on.
