The only thing I can figure is that my BIL is very successful in the banking world. W is doing alot of what my BIL did starting out. My W values people on their financial successes and positions. My W also loves to brag about hers. So I am wondering if this is more of a "look at me, I am on the road to doing what you do" kind of thing. I don't know, but I just can't really figure any other reason for this.
She knows he staunchly stands against what she is doing. My BIL is a traditional catholic with 7 kids. Very profamily. My W obviously knows where I stand with our M.
So what does she want? I guess that is the million dollar question. Is it just to brag about herself and associate with someone she knows is successful? I don't know. She has no control over him. She has no control over anything we discuss. She knows that he knows about her first A.
Maybe in her warped mind she thinks there is a friendship there. Hard to figure. Now he does treat her like part of the family still as they communicate occasionally about what is going on. But he also tries to insert some influence into her reconsidering her position when they do.
I don't know and he doesn't know either. Maybe it would be better to find a way out of that dinner.
Kevin
Kevin,
Your spending WAY to much of YOUR time trying to figure out what is on your W's mind. You have to let this go, you can not know what she is thinking or why, so do not waste your time trying to figure it out. When you get it wrong, and you will, you just cause yourself more suffering.
Get her out of the dinner, because it's what you want and need, not because you want to see her, or wonder what's on her mind, or why she wants to see your BIL. Honestly, who cares why she wants to come? Do you want it? If not, then make other plans.
Are you worried she will be mad if she can't come? If your still doing things because of her, instead of yourself, you need to do a lot more work on you.
It comes off to her as completely weak if she inserts herself into this, and you meekly agree.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
